Tuesday, August 9, 2011


This morning my nurse woke me up an hour early and announced that the high risk doctor was here ready to do my weekly sonogram. I knew that was going to happen and was totally prepared (in other words, filled with dread)... except it was supposed to be Thursday. Since it's not like I really have any choice, I climbed in the wheelchair and let her push me down the hall, but I was totally freaking out at this sudden turn of events.

See, most pregnant women think sonograms are great. Those are the people that don't consistently get bad news. It IS fun to see the baby, but particularly right now, the stress of wondering what they might find crowds out that little bit of fun. So by the time she'd gotten me set up on the table I was shaking uncontrollably. I was by myself with a woman I'd just met this morning and a doctor I've seen for less than twenty minutes, and I was about to find out if anything had changed. I was terrified.

As it turns out, the news was good! The doctor did another check of Tate's heart since that stinker refuses to behave during his daily monitoring (he prefers kicking the monitors then moving out of the way), and everything still looked great. Most importantly I was unchanged... which is HUGE since the change the week before had been significant. For now it appears that what we're doing is successful, and everyone is hopeful that we're going to get another week.

Today has been fabulous, and after five long, hard days I really needed this one. Several people have commented on my positive attitude, and I'll admit, even I'm pretty surprised at how well I've been able to focus on the good. It's not my natural response, and after yesterday I was worn down from the complete helplessness and lack of answers. I needed something hopeful to hold on to, and although a surprise sono wasn't my idea of a good way to start the day, God had a better plan. He gave me just what I needed.

Tomorrow will be 26 weeks! 15 more days to our first milestone, and for the first time I'm actually hopeful we'll get there...

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