It all started last Monday when my doctor came in and said I'd have to do my glucose test at the end of the week. Despite the fact that everyone here told me I was wrong, I knew I'd fail. All week long the cloud of dread hung over me, and all week long people got more and more annoyed when I wouldn't listen to their assurances. Then they got the results from the lab, and suddenly everyone was quiet. I'd failed just like I said I would.
I've heard more times than I can count that many people fail the first test, and it's not something to be upset about. I get why people kept saying that, but to me it WAS something to be upset about. I hate needles, and even if I passed the second test, it meant going through a lot more blood draws. I also heard many times that the worst case scenario would be a restricted hospital-only diet and four finger pricks every day for the next two months. No big deal! I'm not clear on how that was supposed to sound positive to anyone, but to me it sounded awful, certainly much worse than if I'd faced this as my only complication and was dealing with it at home. On top of all the ways my life has been restricted thus far, I was now looking at losing the one piece of my old life I'd been able to keep. To me it was a very big deal.
The other hard part of the past few days has been all the comparisons, as if hearing stories worse than mine should make my issues not matter. Are there other people here in more dire situations than me? Absolutely, but it's not like things are all safe and fine for us either. We're almost to 29 weeks which is much better than 25, but it's still a long way from safe. We've been blessed to make it this far, but things could go awry at any moment. And I live at the hospital! Obviously I've got some problems too, so I certainly didn't want to add another to the list...
It's been a very frustrating time, but for now all of that is over. The results today were good, and aside from a very sad looking arm, all is well. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up to another sonogram, so it's quite possible that in a few hours we'll be facing some of those more serious complications... at least we had a little while to relax.